School Shootings, by the Numbers

 What I learned at today’s school shootings training (with apologies to Harper’s Index):

Occurrence of U.S. mass shootings, times the world average: 270
Percentage of mass shootings that take place in schools: 25
Percentage of shooters now wearing body armor: 24
Percentage carrying more than one weapon: 36
Percentage who had no prior police record: 42
Number of mock assault rifle attacks I helped disarm today: 7 or 8
Number where I sustained a real-life bruise, ding, or scrape: 7 or 8
Number of disarmings I performed correctly: 1
Number of times I would have been gut-shot by an AR-15: 6 or 7
Ratio of cops and ex-military to educators at today’s training: 2 to 1
Educators who were required to be there: 0
Percentage of mass shootings that are committed by one person: 98
Percentage of mass shooters that are male: 97
Length of the average school shooting, in minutes: 12
Percentage that last 5 minutes or less: 37
Percentage of shootings where police arrive after the show’s over: 47
Average number of dead: 3
Average number of wounded: 4
Since 1980, the number of kids who have died in school fires: 0
Since 1980, the number of kids who have died in school shootings: 300
The number of teachers: 45
The number of fire drills in which I’ve participated since becoming a teacher in 1996: 150+
The number of school shooting drills: 0

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